Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Of course I have a pirate flag
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize