Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
