sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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