so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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