i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry about my life...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
