Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
