my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
