Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I want her autograph on my taint
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
