forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
