"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
