you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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