if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize