I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize