i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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