what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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