she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
