Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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