Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
