As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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