I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize