I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
