If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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