I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
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Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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