This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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