K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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