Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
