Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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