I think im going to throw up on grandma
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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