i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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