I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
