so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
