I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
