I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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