Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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