Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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