I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
