my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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