saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
