Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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