I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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