She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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