Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
