I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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