Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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