I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
