Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
