The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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