OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
