remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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