Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
