You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
