he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
