would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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