Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
