Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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