I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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