I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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