Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
