her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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