Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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