1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
