Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
