I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
