I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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